😄 Daily Silly Status
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You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I’m sober.
Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!
I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
Don’t ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat. Then take her to her first guess.
Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
Never piss off a woman on her period...scratch that...Never piss off a woman, period.
I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps.
Rock bottom is when you get dinner at the same place you buy your gas.
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
I`d divorce my wife but I never want to see her that happy!
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.