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Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
I think there’s finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
I fake my LOLs
If there`s no god then how do you explain yoga pants?
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
My parents are visiting. So I pretty much know how much gas cost everywhere.
So... Where does one obtain minions?
It’s a status….not your diary…
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.