Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
For daylight savings, we should move the clocks forward an hour on Monday at 9 AM so that we lose an hour of work instead of sleep.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eegs
Does "Can I take your order?" sometimes mean "Let`s start a new life together" or am I reading too much into this?
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
I don’t know what it is but, it’s on sale.
I just ate a Cheeto that melted perfectly in my mouth! It was Awesome! ....Until I realised that was the highlight of my day.
For all the parents with kids starting school I just want to say congratulations. You made it through another summer without killing your children!! I am proud of you all!!
If you forget your hook-up’s name, just take them to Starbuck’s in the morning.
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
I may be asking too much of this coffee.