😄 Daily Silly Status
Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some people are normal. What an awful, boring existence that must be.
"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
You can steal my status updates whenever you want, but just remember that I lick every single one before I post them...
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me? Just the other night she called me from some hotel.
Clearly, it is wrong to describe woman`s menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
What do women say when they are actually fine?
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
When you "pretend speak" to someone in the background while ordering takeout so that the restaurant doesn`t judge your big order for one.
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
I’ve taken off my pants in most malls that I’ve been to.
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.