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Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch isn`t that bad. It`s kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping......with a really angry bear nearby.
Dear Santa, I was framed!
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
make little things count. teach midgets math.
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
I`m just a guy standing in front of a huge pile of laundry wondering how flammable it is.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."
My dog is eating. I`m sitting next to her, staring intently at her, making her obviously uncomfortable. Yeah, how`s THAT feel, mutt?