😄 Daily Silly Status
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Sent my ex a card that said, "Get better soon." He`s not ill, just really crappy in bed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
Money can buy imitation happiness. I’m cool with that.
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.
Back in my day, we didn’t have computers or the internet. Everyone had to walk uphill for days to tell me I’m an a$$hole.
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can`t flick your friends out the car window
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.