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What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
Birthday sex is just like regular sex but you are dissapointed that more people didn`t come.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
I`ll vacuum over something a hundred times before I pick it up and place it back down and try again.
Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
If you catch a homeless couple having sex is it rude to tell them to "get a room"?
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.