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Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
Got a new blood pressure monitor, says it turns off after 6 minutes of inactivity .....
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why my family and friends expect that for free.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?