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This status update is only available in English.
I`m starting to think mosquitoes just land on our faces not to suck blood but to see how stupid we look when we slap ourselves.
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.
You know what makes sex awesome? Actually having it.
Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession.
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they`d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!