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I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
Have I posted my Alzheimers joke yet?
I’m late for a disappointment.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
Dwjxdjdhjfrjfjhrha! Sorry--you will get a more coherent status update AFTER I`ve had my coffee!
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn`t improved since fourth grade.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!