Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So exhausting to have my life changed for the better every time someone posts a screenshot of a famous quote.
Sometimes my neighbors love my music so much that they invite the police to listen.
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn`t believe me.
They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.
I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.