Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
My life is the intersection between having too much caffeine and constantly yawning.
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
Time flies when you`re throwing watches.
The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
My life is based on a true story
The hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to fart quietly again.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.