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They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
I just peed so hard that I laughed a little.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
I don`t regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren`t on those bridges when I burned them.
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
Grown up pandas eat for 12 hours a day. In related news, it turns out I’m not fat. I’m a panda.
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD