Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Those 4 words that will get any girl into bed with you. `I won the lottery`.
I hope I never have to run for my life. It wouldn’t end well.
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before.” So they feel awkward trying to remember me.
Don`t forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
How can Wal-mart have a bazillion carts and everyone with at least one wobbly wheel?
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
Relationship status: Are you gonna eat that?
life is too short to match socks
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my girlfriend how her day was.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!
I want to take this moment to thank the depends adult diaper company for allowing me to play my video game for a strait 8 hours uninterupted...