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If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
I dont believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt & crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me.
My son wants to be a shrink when he grows up... Clearly I`ve failed to teach him our family`s place in the psychiatric process...
Card on top of gift reads `I want you wearing this tonight` only to open the gift to find NOTHING
The restraining order doesn`t mean we can`t hangout. It just says I can`t get within 50 ft of you. So you wanna play catch or frisbee or something?