Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
You bring everyone a lot of joy ... when you leave the room.
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
I have no time for stupid people But they sure seem to have time for me.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
i wonder if fish get thirsty .
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it`s not in my way.
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
When one door closes another one opens. Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.
Chillin: the art of doing nothing without being bored.