Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
So you constantly feel sorry for yourself and feel the need to tell everyone all about it. I can’t imagine why he left you.
It`s weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
Some people need a shock collar. I need the remote.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I...
If you ever think someone’s too cute to talk to just remember that they poop too.
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
I wouldn’t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.