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Years ago, my girlfriend said, “It’s me or the beer!” I wonder how she doing…
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
that annoying manager who thinks they are god ... you are not ... you are a douche box
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon
The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the woman.
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of beer named Responsibly.
Some of the happiest years of a woman`s life are when she`s 29.
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.
Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, my first reaction is to get in line.
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!