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If anyone every texts me "who is this" I always respond "Jake from State Farm"
OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
Don`t be embarrassed by who you are. Unless you`re stupid. Then you`re pretty much screwed.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
So much to do and so few alibis.
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
I`m having an out of money experience.
According to the customer service, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.
*Baby on board* Oh really? Thanks for letting me know, I was about to ram into your car, but now I won’t.
Are walruses just vampire manatees?