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You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.
I wish my kids came with a handbook.... Hardcover, preferably. So I have something to hit them with.
That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Attention!! Today I am traveling back in time to right some wrongs in this world. You will know I succeeded if the Germans lost WW2 and that Thursday comes before Wednesday.
You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
Pro tip for picking up girls – keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
Don`t sugar-coat it, I`ll just lick that off....
I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa