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All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
I wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
In Starbucks a customer went sh*t house rat crazy when they got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot they ordered ... I`m fine now.
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about