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Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
Free will is good, but free pizza is better.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
I’m eating just in case I get hungry later
I don`t think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
Where do all the ice cream men go in winter?
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
That frustrating feeling when the microwave trips the circuit breaker and you have no idea how much longer your lunch needs to be nuked.
If you`re in WalMart and you`re holding in a fart, just remember, YOU`RE IN WALMART!!
I`d love to drown my problems... I just can`t get my spouse to go swimming!