Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can`t talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
Just realized that 90% of Disney cartoons involve lying about your identity to get someone to love you.
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy, if you put it in your stomach first.
Of course I`m a good mother ... They`re still alive aren`t they.
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
Sorry I said "at least it`s healthy" when you asked me how cute your baby was.
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.