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WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
Definition: Brain - Your body`s hardest working organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you...fall in love.
I`m sorry I got salsa on your baby, and I`m extra sorry I scraped it off with a chip
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
Next time you are in a restaurant, give this a thought. The fork you are using has been in the mouth of hundreds of people. Now look at the people eating right by you. Scary, right?
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
If you ever disappeared while hiking, Iād remain with the search party at least until it started raining.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.
boss- "You cant drink while your at work!" .. me- "Oh dont worry im not working!!"
I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
My thoughts should be ashamed of themselves.
I`m uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you but completely comfortable standing next to a complete stranger while urinating. - Guys.
Anyone who calls it a "day off with the kids"... Either has no kids or doesn`t know what "day off" means.