Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My New Years resolutions are just a list of mixed drinks I haven`t tried yet.
Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?
Look UPS guy, you can`t just show up at someone`s house unannounced and expect them to have pants on.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn`t be called nachos.
Why don`t we wait for life on other planets to find us? Why do we have to do all the work?
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
My girlfriend left me because I`m a legend ... Or to quote her, `Arrogant`.
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.