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Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
Don`t ever forget.. I`m always here. A l w a y s. Scrolling. Judging. Judging. Scrolling. That`s right. I see everything.
With everything going on lately... I`ve got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
My wife is pissed at me again...appearently I am breathing wrong.
It`s weird how after they couldn`t put Humpty Dumpty back together the King`s men were like "Let`s give the horses a shot at it"
Before I die I`m going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don`t have iPhone. 2) I don`t have a girlfriend.
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
If you can`t handle me at my worst I completely understand, because I can`t either.