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I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
I’m crazy but not “LeBron is better than Jordan” crazy.
On a scale from 0 to insane, I`m Batman!
I`ve considered changing career paths and becoming a demolitions expert, but then I hear the education may cost me an arm and a leg.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question!!!
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
What idiot named it a mugshot instead of a cellfie?
Frankly auto correct,I`m getting tired of your shirt.
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That`s how this works.
This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is `funny and spontaneous`, yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it`s all pantic and screaming.
My stove top knob reads, LO | 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | HI......so what is Med-High, Medium Low?...They just need to lay it out for me in numbers! Like "set stove top to 8." no wait, 9.? Food manufacturerers and stove manufactuerers need to get toghether on this! So let me see,..... (me thinking)....if ten is high...5 is medium that means 7.5..... WAIT!.....low would be 0 so HI would be 12???....WTF!!! forget about simmer!........HEY KIDS! WHO WANTS PIZZA!
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those medications.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........