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If your job title is head receiver, you know you`re doing something right.
The sun shouldn`t be allowed to come out until after your hangover.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
I wish there was more BitStrips and photos of giraffes on my Facebook
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
Whenever I`m sad, you`re there. Whenever I`m having problems, you`re always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you`re always there. Lets face it. You`re bad luck.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
You don`t know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
it`s friday o clock
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
How many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw.
Some of the best memories I have are of times right before the cops showed up.
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.