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Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
I hate when I accidentally eat everything in sight.
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?
I’m going to be very busy in the afterlife. the list of people I’m going to haunt grows everyday.
First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.
My favorite in-laws are the ones that don`t exist.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.