Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only thing I`m really learning from this 401K meeting at work this morning is that I`ll probably never be able to retire.
Which wine goes best with more wine?
Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
If I drunk text you and you`re sleeping, don`t text me in the morning. That ship has sailed.
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
sorry abaut the message I sent you last night, my phone was drunk!
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
It must be very hard to be a Nigerian lawyer who specializes in international inheritance law.
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…