Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don’t even know what that means but now I’m hungry.
I just saw a gang of really drunk mosquitoes leave my arm and high-five each other. Weird.
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
I got a little package in the mail today. For some reason it just reminded me of my ex.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
There`s a warning light on my dashboard of a vague exclamation point. It`s like when my girlfriend was mad at me and she wouldn`t say why.
As I slowly ran my finger down her G string I thought to myself, this is a nice guitar.
I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
My Kid: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What`s wrong with the one we live in? My Kid: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.