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Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
Much of my life is a contest to see which of the voices in my head can say the funniest stuff.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
Your secrets are safe with me because I zone out everytime you speak.
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you, would actually kill me
If I`m in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet
"Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I`ll hold."
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says "Text Me"
I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!
Remember, life isn`t about accumulating stuff. It`s about making people insanely jealous of your stuff.