Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won´t spoil me.
I still water my dead plants every 3 months. Just in case...
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you`re better off staying home with no pants on.
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am.
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me ... from me.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
Dance like no one´s going to put it on YouTube.
Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.
You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.