Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
That moment when you put your pants on, take a few steps, and feel something crawling down your leg! You grab it on the outside so it doesn`t crawl any further....and then you sigh in relief and thank God the dryer sheet doesn`t bite!
That son of a b*tch moment when you`re walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting "UNSUBSCRIBE!"
Receipts are just short-stories about how stupid you are with money.
i hate that the sun comes up so early
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.
The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.
When I am working, I get paid to be nice. I don`t understand why my friends and family expect me to do it for free during my time off.
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. Iām sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.