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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars.
If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
Subway is the only place I can walk in and ask for a 12 inch Italian and not feel like a slut.
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
Bored, so I’m going to find a kid that looks like me and tell him I’m him from the future.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
Sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves completly. ;)
I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.