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Much to my daughters horror, I just sang along to Ace of Base`s “The Sign” at full volume in a van full of her friends. Being a dad is fun!
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she`s practising for her next selfie
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
You know you`re getting older when you play GTA and spend 3 hours just walking around the map trying to find where you parked your car.
Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
That awkward moment when the automatic flushing toilet goes off when you`re still sitting down.
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
Helpful Tip: You can’t get in trouble for leaving work early if you disable the security cameras and crawl out the air-conditioning duct.
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........