Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ok but how old is your child in minutes?
Do you think that the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "if you build it they will come"?
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
This beer tastes like future mistakes.
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
Hard butter is the devil.
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, Iām gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
Relationship Status: eating
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.