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Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
I enjoy shopping online because at least I don`t have to act all shocked when my credit card gets declined.
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
In a perfect world Taco Bell would deliver...
Cool things about being a turtle: 1. Born with a free house attached to you 2. Super chill 3. Could potentially mutate into a ninja
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC