Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like "Please don`t stay long!" or "I hope you brought booze."
If I had a time machine I`d go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the sh!t out of people with an electric toothbrush.
My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
Whenever a buddy of mine wants to borrow something, I remind them that everything I own has touched my balls.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.