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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
Better pound all these beers so I can get the bottles in the bin for recycling day.
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I`m in public.
Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
Forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
The best part about living in a small town is when I don`t know what I`m doing, someone else does.
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.