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I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
A word of advice, stay on my good side. My good side is in Hawaii.
As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it`s a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Is there another word for synonym?
*Learns sign language to keep arguing with boyfriend while giving the silent treatment*
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
Ways to die: Steal my food.
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
I just bought some new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said to remove the top and push up bottom. My butt hurts now but every time I fart the room smells awesome.