Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.
A fun thing to do when leaving the Zoo, is too start frantically running and yelling "OMG they`ve all escaped!"
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
When I hear someone say they hear voices in their head, I wonder if they’re just thinking for the first time.
The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends....
You`ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(