Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
Football Logic: Your team won: Celebrate with beers! Your team lost: Better drown my sorrows in some beer.
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
If I had a dollar for everytime I was distracted, look squirrel!
Every morning I check my girlfriends horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
Pregreening - creeping forward while waiting for a red light to change.
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.