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I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. OK, fine. A mannequin. But she doesn`t talk much and I like that.
I`m not sure what my credit score is but I`m pretty sure I`m losing.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
If at first you don`t succeed then maybe you just suck.
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it’s fine, but women can’t sleep with lots of men or else they’re whores. “If a key opens a lot of locks, it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it’s just a sh!tty lock.”
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
Crazy is like diarrhea. You can only hold it in for so long.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!