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Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.
During the summer months, be sure to dress for the body you have. Not the body you want.
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
I swear if my memory gets any worse, i`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
I`ve never watched a clown apply makeup but I imagine the process is similar to that of a Kardashian.
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
I’m totally fine with favoritism as long as I’m the favorite.
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.