Daily Silly Status

More food should come with prizes inside it.

To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.

A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...

I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..

Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.

Seriously, You accidentally catch six kitchen towels on fire and all of a sudden you can`t go in the kitchen alone anymore.

a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.

Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.

More funny statuses will be posted here soon

My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping

Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.

My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.

You are like that one crazy wheel on a grocery cart.

I went to the Dr today with severe headaches .. he asked if I suffered from any memory loss. I said "How the F would I know?"

If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo`s show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it`s Halloween because our family reunion was in July....