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I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
I use profanity, the way Picasso used a paint brush
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
If karma doesn`t hit you, I gladly will.
Another tragedy today in the music industry.....Justin Beiber was just found alive in his apartment. :(
Putting a light in the refrigerator is God`s way of telling us that it`s okay to eat before going to bed.
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
Tequila is Spanish for Iām open to waking up anywhere.
I want the drugs of the first guy who was like "DUDE, let`s carve a face into a pumpkin."