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I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this...
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
B!tches be trippin ... OK, maybe I pushed one.
Being single is the worst sh!t ever. Being in a relationship is a close second.
I never used to mind my wife hitting me in the face as she climaxed until I found out she was faking it.
A revolving door is an IQ test you can fail in public.
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn’t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.
The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.