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I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
I always take a number at the deli, and I`ve been keeping them.... Eventually I`ll have all the numbers and it will always be my turn.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
you know what sucks about being a "chubby guy"....when your girlfriend wants to play with YOUR boobs :)
If I`m in your house and you have bookshelves... Be prepared to see me turning statues and bending down books while looking for your lair.
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
Wouldn`t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 mins and come out wrinkle free and 2 sizes smaller...
The closest I ever got to murdering is when I held a Oreo cookie in milk until the bubbles stop.
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets