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You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
Unsettling sounds #23 - Ice-cream van after dark
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key
I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
Dwjxdjdhjfrjfjhrha! Sorry--you will get a more coherent status update AFTER I`ve had my coffee!
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
For some people, a new year means a new chance to f*ck it up all over again.
How do nudist clean their glasses?
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.
Why is it all the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, impossible, addictive, or fattening?
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps