Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
I pretend to like people everyday. It`s called being an adult. That`s why we`re allowed to buy booze.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that´s how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
"I`ve never seen an angry stoner, see angry drunks all the time!" Clearly you`ve never tried to take a stoner`s nachos away.
Those who tell you not to run with scissors are just trying to steal your scissors. Run.
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
If it`s tourist season why can`t we shoot them?
My anger management class pisses me off
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.