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Iām the kind of guy who dreams about naps while Iām asleep.
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
Turns out the plastic bag they put in your ice bucket at a hotel isn`t for to-go bacon from the breakfast buffet.
I hate when Iām walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$.