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Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
If you`re single and you know it hug your cat!
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
I suspect my gravestone will have a pretty serious urine discoloration not long after I`m gone.
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".
If I’m going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then I’m going to need a bigger rug.
Most days I think I understand women, but then the alcohol wears off.