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never be afraid to wipe twice
Partying on my level requires years of training.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they`re transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise.
I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
I`ve come to terms with the fact that I will never experience leftover pizza.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
I inject vodka right into the orange. Screwdriver-to-go
Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
So what if I`m single now ... I mean it can`t be that hard to boil toast, can it?
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
Admit it, at some point in time you’ve tried to see if you had superpowers.
I can`t wait to be rich so I can price things from high to low instead of low to high when shopping online.
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!