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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
Considering that dogs pee to mark territory, they probably think humans are constantly battling over who gets to claim the toilet.
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of