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Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
When I get home the first thing I`m going to do is rip my wife`s panties off. Because they`re too small and the elastic is killing me.
Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
I love arguing with you so much, I`ll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
Hey babe, go to Google Earth, zoom in on your house. See that blue cap in the bushes? Hi!
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
It`s not too late to start convincing our children that the world really did end in 2012 and we`re the survivors.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
My favorite part of seeing someone I know in public is pretending I didn’t.
That awkward moment when the creepy guy in the white van doesn`t have candy...