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I think I need to return my GPS...no matter what it can`t help me find easy street
Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
It saddens me to think that I`ll never be able to watch my own a$$ as I walk away :(
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn`t want you to be happy."
I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
Hello...
Maybe the reason the world keeps making idiots famous is because 75% of the world is made up of idiots.
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
Ten out of ten pigs prefer turkey bacon over regular bacon.
Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn`t been used at the liquor store since Friday.
Being human is expensive and exhausting.
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.