Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Love is like Wi-Fi, you can`t see it, but you know when you`ve lost it.
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
If you`re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
I`m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
I can`t wait to get home and have make-up sex! ... I`ve been arguing all day with myself.
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solutionβ¦
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
People who over-exaggerate make me so mad that I just want to light everyone on fire.
I hate when I`m about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.
When I text someone and they don`t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."