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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Sometimes I wish I was full of pizza instead of emotions.
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don`t have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off.
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
Sometimes, I send game request just to piss people off :)
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
Just read an article about a new species of spider in Sri Lanka that is the size of an average human`s face. In an unrelated matter, I have decided to NEVER visit Sri Lanka.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
You never know how many people you dislike until you have to name your child.