Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do people say ”I saw it with my own eyes.” Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
If you give me a phone number or directions while I`m on the phone with you, just know that I`m using my very best finger pen and air paper.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
Wine doesn`t have many vitamins. That`s why you have to drink a lot of it.
I wanna steal a Krispy Kreme truck and go on a high speed chase just because it`d be funny to watch a bunch of cops chase a donut truck
Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression you’re working.
Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can`t watch Breaking Bad.
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
Teacher: what comes after 69. Little Johnny: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!!!
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
Falling out of bed the fun way. Oh wait, there isn`t a fun way....
While it was raining today, I thought for fun I would run out there and scream "I`m melting I`m melting!"
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?