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I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn`t tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
Starting to believe I`m trouble
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That`s the last time we`re playing Monopoly.
My therapist just offered me my money back.
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
I’ve thought about it, and there still is no good reason for me to grow up.
"F*ck that sh!t", is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no"