Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
Teens today have it so easy. We didn`t have self-checkout lanes when we bought condoms.
The best things in life require no pants.
So glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how much I’m understanding what other people are saying.
Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
Imagine all the amazing places you could take naps if you were Superman.
The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire.
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.
Back in my day we had 9 planets.