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Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
The phrase "use of the jerk-off motion is prohibited" has been added to our HR manual because of me. It`s like winning an award.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.
I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.
The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.
When I say "Have a nice day." Remember the f*cker on the end is silent.