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"I`d like a bowl of soup please." "Any sides?" "I hope so, or it`ll go EVERYWHERE."
So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
You see I, I´ve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakin´ our backs everyday. If wantin´ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, here´s to you
If we start calling it `potato juice`, Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?
My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
I want rich people problems. Like where to land my private jet.
Morning comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early. 2) Too early. 3) Way too early
Kinda makes you wonder how many employees used to piss on their hands in the bathroom before management finally took action
The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
If Facebook isn’t a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it.
Chip clips are for quitters.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he`s a lamp...what does he know....
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....