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I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
I put the pro in inappropriate.
i spend 800% off my life exaggerating
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
Is it really necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down?
Did 4 push ups & 2 sit ups then ate 4 doughnuts & drank 2 beers. It`s called balance people!
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
Don`t waste my timeline.
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
My date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
Ain`t no sunshine when she`s gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain`t no sandwiches either.