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It`s real cute how pedestrians confuse "right of way" with immortality.
Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
It`s just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
Turns out people who say they love hot sauce on anything are liars. In other news, I`ve recently been banned from making the classroom coffee.
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
If I was a waiter.. I would plant fake engagement rings in every girl`s champagne glass, just to see their boyfriends panic.
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.
My friend thinks he`s so smart. He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.