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I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
I feel like I`m not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don`t cut and dye my hair and change my identity.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a normal pigeon.
Where is the button to restart summer?
Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button