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It may look like I`m doing nothing, but I`m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
Just...sitting...thinking...planning my next move to get that new roll of toilet paper about 5 feet away from me.
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a big sign of disrespect.
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn`t amused when I said, "I don`t think it`s working"
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
Let`s be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.
Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
I checked my horoscope today and all I can say is ...WOW!! I`m a Taurus and I looked it up and sure enough,it says I was born between 4/21-5/21!! Well played horoscope, well played.
Karma may "work" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor`s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right